SEATTLE — When Dana Smith first started showing up as a Big Sister at Marvina Davis’ elementary school, the two would work on homework, play cards, paint, visit the playground and sometimes share a carryout meal from McDonald’s.
The conversations between the adult and the 8-year-old were pretty basic then, especially since Marvina — who lived with her father, three sisters and a brother — found it difficult to talk to women.
It took years, Marvina recalled, before she trusted her mentor enough that “I broke out of my shell” and began sharing more intimate thoughts and experiences.
“I had to let her in. Since that, it’s been way better,” said Marvina, now a high school senior who is writing college applications.
More than a decade after Big Brothers Big Sisters of Puget Sound brought them together, Marvina and Smith are closer than ever.
With the help of her Big Sister and her father, Marvina said, she’s managed to avoid getting pregnant or “doing something I shouldn’t be doing. I have people who help me keep my head on straight.”
“She doesn’t really have a mother here,” said Marvina’s father, Willie Davis, “so I got her a Big Sister so she could find somebody who’s independent and works.
“I want my daughter to finish school, go to college, be a great citizen. It looks like I picked the right person in Dana because things have been good.”
One of Marvina’s younger sisters has a Big Sister, and the others are waiting for “Bigs” of their own.
“I can raise them,” Davis said, “but I can’t teach them how to be a woman. That’s the Big Sister’s role.”
Big Brothers Big Sisters has matched children and mentors 18 and older since 1957. About three-quarters of “Littles” are from low-income families, and they report in annual surveys that their mentors help them gain confidence, improve school attendance, resist drugs and decide to go to college.
Volunteers are asked to make a one-year commitment to their “Little,” but they actually spend an average of two to three years together, said President and CEO Amy Mack.
Some relationships last a lifetime. Ryan Macnamara was best man at his Big Brother Oscar Oliveira’s wedding, and became like an older brother to Oliveira’s children. Oliveira later was best man at Macnamara’s wedding.
Macnamara and his wife have reached out to another generation, working together as a couple to mentor a Little Brother.
In February, Smith and Marvina will celebrate the 12th anniversary of the start of their relationship.
They still get together for meals, movies, walks and talks.
