Our father, 87, has Stage 4 prostate cancer. You’d never know it.
On any given day, you can find him flying an airplane, captaining a sailboat, volunteering as a museum docent or performing Gilbert and Sullivan songs for adoring light opera fans.
None of his four daughters know what the next year will bring, but we made a commitment to celebrate the days and months Dad has left by helping him check off the many adventures and travels on his long and far-reaching bucket list. We even added some things we thought were missing. The most memorable of these, and the only trip where all four daughters were able to join him, was the whirlwind August weekend we called “Otters and Daughters, 2024.”
There is something cute and fun and hopeful about otters. Dad has always loved them. Nurtured by Nature, a conservancy in Southern California, allows small groups to swim with their romp of Asian small-clawed otters. These otters are the least aquatic but most social of all otter species, and they love to interact with humans.
Diane, our youngest sister, fears all animals, but we reminded her of our shared commitment to support Dad and promised to fund after-event therapy as needed. We headed to San Diego to allow Dad this up-close and personal interaction with his favorite animal.
Our time at the conservancy started out with petting and feeding capybaras, bat-eared foxes, porcupines, lemurs, sloths and armadillos. We were allowed to enter the enclosures of the animals, sit on low benches and offer them small snacks. Although hardly vicious beasts, it was still thrilling to interact with these exotic creatures. Even self-professed animalphobe Diane was soon feeding jicama to her favorite capybara, although she wasn’t quite ready to join him in the capybara lazy river.
After two hours of exploring the outside enclosures of the facility, we headed into the so-called “ottertarium” for our swim.
We changed into swimsuits and climbed into the 3-foot-deep, crystal-clear pool of 90-degree water. As soon as the humans were in the pool, our hosts released adorable otters. They came scurrying out to meet us. We played with the otters for nearly an hour as the trainers threw in toy after toy, from tug-of-war ropes to fidget toys. Ice cubes were a hot otter commodity leading to splashing, chasing and frantic wrestling matches, known as otter knots. Sometimes these knots happened inside a human swimsuit and my son experienced at least one loop-de-loop of otters through his trunks.
We all wore T-shirts over our suits so that, with a crossing of arms, a hammock of sorts could be made to encourage otter snuggles. We all had otters in our suits, in our shirts, on our heads. Never has a lack of boundaries been so much fun.
When otters like someone, they share their treasures with them. While each of us left the pool with a pebble, toy or ice cube tucked somewhere in our swimsuit by a friendly otter, Dad was the clear otter favorite. We lost track of how many pebbles and trinkets he shook out of his swimwear. We ended up with over 1,000 photographs of our “Otters and Daughters” experience and Dad can be seen laughing and cooing at otters in every photo.
Not one to hold still for long, Dad and his wife soon took off on a seven-week, cross-country road trip that included everything from the Marine Corps Museum in Quantico, Va., to a Louise Penny author tour in Montreal, Canada. We’ve taken turns joining him. Over Labor Day weekend, I ended up in Medora, N.D., with him, exploring Teddy Roosevelt National Park. Cindi saw fall colors with him from Boston to Maine. Laura shared seafood with him in Nova Scotia. Diane crafted historical family sing-along playlists with him for the long drive across eastern Canada.
Dad is truly making the most of things, often quoting Jimmy Buffet: “I’d rather die while I’m living than live while I’m dead.” He’s an incredible testament to embracing all life has to offer and focusing on now, rather than fretting over what the future holds.
My sisters and I check in with Dad every day as he drives thousands of miles across the country. So far there have been two minor car accidents, a lost wallet and a few other small upsets, but overall he is loving this adventure, enjoying visiting places that have lived only in his imagination for decades. The time Dad shared with the otters and all four of his daughters, even the animalphobe who made an exception, will be a treasured memory for many years to come.
We’ll forever be grateful to our father for inviting us to join him on his bucket-list travels as he joyfully celebrates the time he has left.
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