How do you know when a painting is finished?
That’s the biggest discipline. Because in the beginning, you can’t stop. Because you never feel like, “That’s it.” When this stuff was being wrapped up for this show, I put it all outside so I can see everything, all together. And then I was running around with this palette. “Oh! Oh, my gosh! (gestures paint strokes) But then I was like, ‘You got to cool it.’ ” Because you can destroy everything, and you can just ruin your art if you don’t stop. You can go past a point of no return.
How do you feel when you’re painting?
I feel valuable. Disciplined. I like work. And I like purpose. Art is purposeful. Art is greatly purposeful to me. And we do know that when we teach young people art, there is less recidivism in the prison system, and yet we’re taking art out of schools.
Do you still want to act?
I don’t get much work as an actress. And the system hasn’t really supported me. I had a massive stroke when I was 41 and I walked away alive. I had about a 1-to-5 percent chance of survival. Everyone thought I was going to die. So many, many, many bad things happened to me because people presumed that I was dead. My bank account somehow went to zero while I was in the hospital, my money disappeared. I lost custody of my child. My career ended. All these things happened. I have a brain seizure condition that’s very serious. And I tried to hide that for many years because I wanted to make my way back in the business. And if you have a disability, that doesn’t really work in my industry. And so I hid in my condition for many, many, many years. And that’s who I am. I’m a woman with a brain seizure condition. I have a disability, and painting has helped me not have the anxiety I had. I was just so anxious… that I wasn’t going to be OK and I couldn’t be accepted. And I was able to shed all that fear and trauma that I wouldn’t be accepted, I wouldn’t be able to work in my community. And you know what? They didn’t really want me anyway. They weren’t going to let me back in and I’m OK with that.
You paint almost every day, what motivates you?
I love it so much and I love that it brings so much joy to people. It just does. It brings such pleasure. And I love when people come to the studio and they’re like, “Wow — we didn’t know!”