It is interesting that the person credited with founding Mother’s Day eventually came to lament the evolution of the holiday.
Anna Maria Jarvis was born in 1864 and grew up in West Virginia. By the early 1900s, she was advocating for an annual day of acknowledgement, envisioning celebrants attending church and writing letters of thanks to their mothers. The idea spread quickly, and by 1914 Congress had passed a law designating the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day.
While the honoring of mothers took root, so did the commercialism that comes with the day; that is the part that Jarvis came to lament. As the Associated Press wrote in 2008, “Jarvis became known for scathing letters in which she would berate people who purchased greeting cards, saying they were too lazy to write personal letters.”
Indeed, Mother’s Day is now known for greeting cards and chocolates and all sorts of gifts in an attempt to adequately thank Mom. The National Retail Federation estimates that $36 billion will be spent on Mother’s Day gifts and festivities this year.
Of course, no amount of money could repay mothers for all they do and the critical role they play in the culture.
Plato, in the infinite wisdom of ancient Greece, reportedly said, “Necessity is the mother of invention.” (Actually, historians tell us, he wrote, “Our need will be the real creator,” but that morphed into the proverb equating maternal care with meeting our needs.)
That part is well-known. But the famed philosopher also is credited with saying: “Give me a different set of mothers and I will give you a different world.” The point seems to be that mothers shape our society through their nurturing, love and support.
Every year, Insure.com puts together a Mother’s Day Index to try and quantify the value of Mom’s various roles. As part teacher, chauffeur, cook, hairdresser, counselor, nurse and judge, the typical mother performs duties that would warrant a salary of $137,141 this year.
To anybody who has known a mother’s love and tireless efforts, those roles are priceless. As an unknown philosopher once said, “Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mother.” Navigating the world is much easier with the steady guidance of a mother.
But despite the multiple roles that mothers play, and despite a day for lavishing them with gifts, the United States does not do a good job of recognizing their importance the rest of the year.
As Caitlyn Collins, a professor of sociology at Washington University in St. Louis, has said: “American moms need U.S. society to value caregiving. U.S. society devalues caregiving because we associate it with femininity — this thing that emanates naturally from mothers. And so it’s not a skill, it’s not something that requires support because it’s just something moms do. Until we think of caregiving as something that men also do … I don’t think we’re going to see well-being equalized for women.”
Men increasingly provide care, but women are more likely to give up work when the balance becomes untenable. That has been increasingly clear throughout the COVID pandemic. Yet the United States is the only country in the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development not to offer paid leave on a national basis. The U.S. also ranks near the bottom for spending on early childhood education and care.
To truly reflect Jarvis’ vision and to genuinely repay mothers for all they do, the United States should embrace policies that honor them the other 364 days of the year.
