YAKIMA — Madie Gustafson-Barritt grew up in Yakima with two older brothers. Born in South Korea and adopted by Nancy and Eric Gustafson when she was a few months old, she had almost no information about her biological parents.
She didn’t think about it much until she started wondering about potential health issues hidden in her genes. A 23andMe DNA ancestry kit helped but also brought a lot of emails mentioning possible distant cousins. Madie didn’t pay much attention to the emails, deleting them as fast as they came.
But one message got her attention. And that changed everything.
On the afternoon of June 27, Madie hugged the biological sister she never imagined she had — Melanie McCormick of Howell, Mich. Melanie and her partner, Tristin Llewellyn, and parents Lynette and Thom McCormick flew to Seattle to meet Madie and her parents, her husband Trevor Barritt and their daughters Charlie, who is 6, and 3-year-old Olive.
The COVID-19 pandemic delayed their meeting. The sisters had been in touch since January 2019, after Melanie messaged Madie through 23andme when she got her test results.
Over more than two years, they learned more about each other through FaceTime and Zoom, texting and talking on the phone. But they knew from the beginning their connection was real.
“Oh my goodness, we sound the same,” Madie said in a recent phone interview with Melanie. “That was the first thing.”
Answers and more questions
Madie, who is 37, was adopted in 1984 from Seoul and grew up in Yakima, where she lives. She knew little about her biological parents, “nothing other than a few pieces of information,” she said.
“Nothing really significant. That’s pretty common,” added Madie, who received her 23andme kit from her mom for Christmas in 2017.
Melanie, who is 29, was born in Seoul in October 1991 and adopted on March 25, 1992. Her parents gave her a 23andme kit for her birthday to provide information about her health.
Lack of a medical history is common and frustrating for adoptees. Though she wanted a 23andMe kit for health reasons, Madie kept her profile open after she got her results. She started receiving emails from the company about DNA matches who could be distant cousins.
“I got used to those and just trashed the emails,” she said, thinking “there’s nothing to ever come from this.”
Melanie’s test results arrived in January 2019. Asked if she wanted to make her information public, she agreed. Almost immediately, Madie’s photo appeared with information that she was Melanie’s half-sister.
“I wasn’t seeking anything like that out. It just like the best surprise ever,” Melanie said. She sent Madie a private message on the 23andme platform. Madie thinks she received an email from 23andme about the match, but trashed it out of habit.
Seeing the message from Melanie that they were sisters, Madie ran into the living room, tossed the phone to husband, Trevor, and yelled, “Just read it!” She messaged Melanie back.
“Her message back to me was ‘OH MY GOSH.’ I was like, ‘thank goodness,’” Melanie recalled. “You just don’t know how people are going to react to that.”
Madie had assumed any biological family members would live in South Korea and there would be a language barrier, so finding out she had a sister who grew up in the United States was a wonderful surprise. The biological mother they share and their biological fathers may be in South Korea, but they don’t know for sure.
“When we first started talking to each other, we started to piece the puzzle together,” Madie said. “She was 32 when she had Melanie and she was 22 or 23 when she had me. We started to piece together (our mother) is the same woman.”
“The dates lined up,” Melanie added. The year lined up with the age and who she was,” Melanie added. “It’s weird because it definitely opened up a lot more questions about her.”
Their mother is “still a big mystery,” Madie said.
“Obviously she had both of us. Does she ever think that we met?” she said. “Does she ever think that we took the (23andMe) test?”
The meeting
Though the pandemic delayed their in-person meeting, Melanie and Madie appreciate the extra time.
“I’m kind of grateful for that time. We were able to get to know each other a lot more in those two years, so meeting in person feels more comfortable,” Madie said.
“We’ve had family Zoom time, too, with our parents and our partners. It’s much more meaningful and authentic. I’m grateful for that time as well,” Melanie added.
On June 27, Melanie and Tristin and her parents flew into Seattle and headed to Yakima. Lisa Tri of Lisa Tri Photography in the Tri-Cities, who has taken many Gustafson family photos, waited outside to take pictures of Melanie walking up to her sister’s front door.
“The first couple days was with our families. We did a lot of family time and ate a lot of meals. Your mom is the most hospitable person on Earth,” Melanie said to Madie. “My parents and Madie’s parents did a tour of Yakima. I got to meet one of Madie’s best friends, and (her) aunt and uncle. We met all the pets and hung out with the kids. It’s been so great.”
They also headed to Manzanita, Ore., for some beach time. In a little more than a week, the sisters “packed in a ton of stuff,” Madie said. “We’ve been waiting for this for two years. We’ve gotta do all the things.”
Melanie, who is a doctoral student in education at Michigan State University, taught kindergarten and first grade — children just about the age of her nieces. She and Madie, a stay-at-home mom, noticed several coincidences in their lives.
Both are the youngest and each sister has two older brothers. Their fathers are attorneys. Madie’s husband, Trevor, is Canadian, and Melanie’s partner, Tristin, has dual American and Canadian citizenship Both sisters have Ragdoll cats. Madie named her cat Mochi, which is a traditional Japanese rice cake. Melanie’s cat is named Shumai, which is a traditional Chinese dumpling.
“There’s been times we’ll text each other and we’re watching the same exact movie at the same exact time,” Melanie said. “Talking to our moms, we had really similar personalities growing up.”
They also love seeing themselves in each other.
“We’ve never had anyone in our families who looked like us. I grew up in a very predominately White community and so being able to see some of my features in Madie” is great, Melanie said.
“I think in a lot of families without adopted children, having somebody that resembles you is taken very much for granted,” added Madie. She thinks her oldest daughter resembles her. Melanie sees herself in Olive, she said.
Since they met in person, it’s more important than ever to stay in touch. The sisters talk every day in some way, Madie said.
“Literally every platform you can think of,” she said.
