Today is different from Mother’s Days of the past. There are no outings for brunch at a nice restaurant. No large gatherings of extended families. No in-person visits with a loved one who resides in a nursing home.
As with everything else, Mother’s Day has been altered by the reality of the coronavirus pandemic. Yet the meaning of the occasion remains the same, as we do our best to honor mothers and all they do for us.
Moms are, of course, de facto psychologists, teachers, doctors, chefs, cleaners, financial experts, day care providers, repairers of bicycles and kissers of knees (those last two often go hand-in-hand). And that is just when they are in the home. The work performed by stay-at-moms would command a salary of $162,000, according to a survey last year by Salary.com.
The annual survey always draws attention because it brings some perspective to all that mothers do. But it is a rather meaningless statistic; you can’t put a price tag on Mom’s unconditional love. As actress Jessica Lange is credited with saying: “The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.”
For many American women, that also means balancing motherhood with work outside the home. About 70 percent of women with children under the age of 18 also work — at least that was the percentage before the pandemic. And while mothers would do anything for us, the question is whether we can do more for them.
As Caitlyn Collins, author of “Making Motherhood Work,” writes for an article in Harvard Business Review: “The United States has the most family-hostile public policy of any OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) country and is one of two countries on the planet with no paid family leave. The federal government guarantees no vacation or sick days. It has no national child care system, health care system, or social insurance entitlement. There is no federal body dedicated to family issues.”
Washington offers at least 12 weeks and up to 18 weeks of paid family leave. Overall, according to WalletHub.com, the state ranks as the 11th best for working moms, scoring particularly well in work-life balance. On the other hand, Washington scores poorly in child care availability and in the middle of the pack for professional opportunities.
Collins writes: “In the absence of legislative change, some U.S. businesses have stepped up to offer work-family policies to their employees. That’s great news — that is, if you have a secure, salaried role in one of these firms. In reality, the workers most in need of support are those least likely to have access to it in our privatized system.”
Not all mothers choose to work outside the home; goodness knows, they have enough to do already. But for those who wish to contribute their professional skills to the workplace, it seems sensible to make it easier for them to do so. The nation benefits when moms have that option.
Yet, we digress. The point of Mother’s Day is to celebrate those who play countless roles in our lives. As journalist Rudyard Kipling wrote: “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”
Even with the disruptions caused by stay-at-home orders during the pandemic, we will find ways to honor mothers today. Virtual visits can’t replace her touch, but they can let Mom know that we are thinking of her — just as she is constantly doing for us.
