Life & Money with Helaine: House party invitation has ulterior motive

Hi, Helaine: A few weeks ago, I attended a neighbor’s house party. She invited me and a bunch of other gals over for coffee, mimosas, brunch and to view a clothing line a friend of hers is selling. After I said yes, I went online and saw the clothing line was a company where the seller earns money for every outfit she sells and every new salesperson she recruits. I decided to go anyway.

The clothes didn’t wow me, and they cost too much. I didn’t buy anything. My family is on a budget, and I didn’t want to use my fun money this way. Almost everyone else bought one or two pieces of clothing.

The next time I saw my neighbor, she told me her friend is financially struggling, and it was expected I would buy at least one item when I said I would attend. She didn’t tell me that when she issued the invite, but I nodded, not wanting to get into an argument with someone I see almost every day.

Her friend then followed up, texting me, asking if I would like to view the clothes again. I replied I couldn’t afford to now. A week later, she texted me again. I ignored it. Now my neighbor is glaring at me when I see her. What do I do?

— Unhappy Shopper

Dear Unhappy Shopper: First of all, you were not invited to a “house party.” You were invited to and attended a multilevel marketing sales event that took place in a home where brunch was served. It was up to you to decide whether to buy the items for sale, and how many items you wanted to buy if you did choose to do so. Under no condition are you obliged to purchase anything.

Your neighbor is in the wrong many times over. First, if she invited people over and expected them to make a purchase, she should have said so up front. Second, when you didn’t buy anything, she shouldn’t have tried to guilt-trip you into buying. Third, she shouldn’t have told her friend to get in touch with you. Fourth, she should understand that there are people — and it sounds like you are one — who are uncomfortable with the multilevel marketing model.

And you know what? You are right to be uncomfortable! Studies show most people will make little money, if not lose money entirely, when they sign up for these things. That likely accounts for the desperation and the constant texting.

The next time you see your neighbor, say a cheery hello. If this topic comes up again, suggest she hold a traditional fundraiser for her friend and say you’ll be happy to contribute to it. My guess is that will be the end of it.

As for the texter, I’m afraid you’ll need to be firm. Thank her for the showing, but say you won’t be making a purchase. Then you can ignore — or block — any future texts.

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