WASHINGTON — The letter landed in email inboxes early in May and since then, students, parents and graduates of prestigious Georgetown Visitation Preparatory School have talked of little else. It has been the subject of spirited discussions, emotional exchanges, fervent Facebook posts.
Sister Mary Berchmans, the school’s president emerita, authored the letter that has provoked so many reactions. In her carefully worded missive that emphasized following “the Gospel commandment of love,” Berchmans said the 220-year-old Catholic girls academy will publish announcements of same-sex unions in its alumnae magazine.
The decision, which stands in contrast to official church teaching on gay marriage, was greeted with a mixture of responses by the school community. Some called it “beautiful” and “overdue.” Others labeled it a “great disappointment.” In some quarters, there was unhappiness it took so long for the school to reach this point, while a smaller number expressed anger that the school was veering from Catholic doctrine.
The school’s decision followed a push last month by several hundred graduates who learned of a fellow alumna who was told a few years ago that she could not have her marriage announced in the publication because it was a same-sex union. The graduates formed a chat group on Facebook to discuss the issue and urge the school to change its policy.
In her letter, Berchmans, who graduated from Visitation in 1948 and was its headmistress for many years, wrote, “Recently, a Visitation friend invited me to reflect upon what it means to Live Jesus in relationship with our LGBTQ alumnae.”
That conversation — as well as “much prayerful consideration and thoughtful dialogue” — led the school to its new policy, she wrote.
In previous years, Visitation’s practice was to deny requests by graduates to have their same-sex unions announced in the magazine. Occasionally, those announcements made it into the “Class Notes” section of the magazine without drawing attention, but officially they were not allowed. Now, that has changed.
Berchmans alluded to that change with a quote from St. Francis de Sales, which she chose to begin her letter: “The Church is a garden patterned with unlimited flowers; it is necessary that they should be of various sizes, various colors, various odors, and, to sum it up, different perfections … all of them provide a beauty most pleasing and perfect.”
Her letter went on to address the Catholic Church’s teaching on same-sex marriage and its emphasis on the Gospel’s command to love one another.
“As a professed Sister of the Visitation for 67 years, I have devoted my life in service to the Catholic Church,” she wrote. “The Church is clear in its teaching on same-sex marriages. But, it is equally clear in its teaching that we are all children of God, that we each have dignity and are worthy of respect and love.
“As I have prayed over this contradiction, I keep returning to this choice: we can focus on Church teaching on gay marriage or we can focus on Church teaching on the Gospel commandment of love. We know from history — including very recent history — that the Church, in its humanity, makes mistakes. Yet, through the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, it learns and grows. And so, we choose the Gospel commandment of love.”
Overwhelmingly positive
Christina Peters, a 1980 Visitation graduate who is gay and married her partner nine years ago when same-sex marriages became legal, said she was profoundly moved by Visitation’s decision.
“To see the school stand with gay and lesbian students and parents and families, I just felt really emotional and grateful,” Peters said. “I do suspect there will be people who will be upset and outraged about it, but Visitation has kind of made its point and I don’t think they’re going to back off of it now.”
Peters said she had a rich and positive experience at Visitation and is close to many of her former classmates. But she also said the church’s teaching on gay marriage was one of the reasons she did not send her daughters to Catholic school.
Berchmans declined an interview request. So far, there have been few complaints about the policy shift from students, parents and the school’s alumnae, according to school officials.
“The response to Sister’s letter has been huge. It has been overwhelmingly and heartwarmingly positive,” said Caroline Coleman Handorf, the school’s director of communications.
The Archdiocese of Washington said in a statement it was not made aware of the decision before the letter from Berchmans.
