Parker: Don’t bow to the mob, Tucker

Let me explain. First, what Carlson said on Bubba’s show about Iraq was abominable. Perhaps in the spirit of shock, he said several remarkably offensive things, such as that he had “zero sympathy” for the Iraqi people because they “don’t use toilet paper or forks.” He also said that Iraq was populated by “semiliterate primitive monkeys” and, thus, not worth invading.

In other taped ruminations, Carlson also said that women are “extremely primitive” and “basic,” and “not that hard to understand,” which earned him the title of misogynist. I know Carlson well enough to know that this is ridiculous. He’s a traditional, country-club Republican guy who knows and practices the gentlemanly arts (when it suits him). Besides, who would disagree if he had said instead that men are primitive? (Deafening applause.) Basic? Hard to understand? Puh-leez. My guide to men is a one-pager titled “Sex and Supper.”

These observations don’t mean I in any way agree with Carlson’s offensive quips — or that I don’t think his words are often over the top — but Fox didn’t hire him for his righteous platitudes. He knows his audience and feeds them all the red meat they can stomach. As for Bubba, bless his heart, shock radio is what it is. I don’t listen to it; I don’t like it; I find it as boring as I would eavesdropping on a men’s locker room. I do, however, listen to a lot of comedy and suspect many “Bubba the Love Sponge” listeners felt that Carlson was merely joking in a guy-taining way.

What I do agree with, however, is that neither Carlson nor anyone should instinctively bow to the mob, as he said in a retort to demands that Fox fire their most popular anchor. Let them rage their furies, but once we allow a self-selected subset of American liberalism to become arbiters of what constitutes acceptable thought, then we are, indeed, on the road to purgatory. I figure it’s always better to let Vile and Invective exercise themselves by the light of day rather than push them into the dark down-under, there to fester and grow ever-more foul.

Such high principle is, obviously, problematical at a time when rhetoric has tended toward the incendiary, pitting American against American. It would be a far better world if speaking every thought weren’t rewarded and if the gentlemanly arts were extended to the spoken and written word. But when it comes to free thought and expression, the remedies are always worse than the original offense.