Alligators, Chinese bamboo pit vipers, tomatillos, frogs with sling shots. All of them green. Only three of them dangerous. And while I’d love to pass an idle hour regaling you with harrowing yarns of brushes with cruel death, I guess I’ll write about tomatillos instead.
• WHY YOU NEED TO LEARN THIS
Tomatillos (TOH-muh-TEE-yos) are inexpensive, easy to use, tasty, good for you and, best of all, safe to use around small children.
Unlike Chinese bamboo pit vipers.
• THE STEPS YOU TAKE
Tomatillos, in case you’ve just returned from a decadeslong deployment at a CIA safe house in Smolensk, are like small, green, gift-wrapped tomatoes. With their wrinkled, papery husks, I think they look more like a drawing of a vegetable than an actual vegetable. And, yes, I’m aware that, technically, they’re a fruit. But so are tomatoes and eggplants, for the love of cry eye, and I don’t hear you grousing about them, now, do I?
If you want to get all botanical, here are some of the cooler facts you can share with Madge at the water cooler on your smoke break: Tomatillos belong to a group of plants (a “clade,” if you will) called “angiosperm.” (Insert your own joke here, kids; my editor still has standards.) It’s also part of the nightshade family, along with the aforementioned tomatoes and eggplant, as well as tobacco (!!!) and belladonna, the deadly poison allegedly used by Agrippina the Younger to poison her husband, the emperor Claudius, and, while that’s all water under the bridge, it does remind us that, when you’re time traveling, stay the heck away from ancient Rome.