A framed cross-stitch pattern faces the living room inside the Ridgefield home of Haris and Cristina Hadziselimovic. Created by their sister-in-law Cait Ceccacci, it reads a phrase that characterizes the couple’s journey toward parenthood: The greater the storm, the brighter the rainbow.
For eight years, their storm of unexplained infertility meant struggles and frustrations, disappointments and emotional tolls for the Vancouver natives who first met in college.
Their rainbow couldn’t be more clear or the pot of gold at the end more rewarding. That’s their daughter, Avyn James, born via gestational surrogacy one month ago.
Technically, Alicia Green is a wife, aunt, sister, mother of four and a gestational carrier. But Green, Columbia River High School’s head gymnastics coach and a local CT and MRI technologist, is more than that.
A better-fitting description of a role she played is a lead character of an inspiring story conceived in sisterly love. She became an aunt for the third time when she gave birth to her niece Dec. 27 by scheduled Cesarean section.
In the parents’ words, a perfect baby on the most perfect day of the couple’s lives. Doctors and other medical staff and specialists called their daughter a miracle.
Without a doubt, Mom and Dad say, it’s the truth.
“It makes me really know how thankful we are to have her be so perfect,” said Cristina, 35.
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Experts say gestational surrogacy — in this case, an embryo conceived in a laboratory using parents’ eggs and sperm transferred to a surrogate with no genetic link to the baby — continues to grow in popularity. According to the centers of Disease Control and Prevention on its most recent data available, the number of gestational carriers in the United States increased from 727 in 1999 to 3,432 in 2013.
Haris and Cristina dreamt of having multiple children once they married June 7, 2010 — five years to the day of their first date. The two met as Clark College students after graduating from Columbia River (Cristina) and Hudson’s Bay (Haris) in 2001. Haris, a real estate broker, knew instantly he found his future bride.
“I went to work,” Haris said, “and said ‘I met the girl I’m going to marry.’ ”
Both come from large families. Each are one of four children and expanding their family was in the couple’s plans not long into their marriage.
But this is when their storm began.
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Green, 36, is the oldest of four siblings. Green has been part of Clark County’s high school gymnastics scene as an athlete, coach or judge since the late 1990s. As Alicia Ceccacci, she won gymnastics state titles on vault in 1999 and 2000 while at River, and became the program’s head coach in 2004.
She and her husband, T.J., have four children of their own — daughter Alex, 11; son Ryland, 8; daughter Logan, 6; and son Jaxton, 3.
The Hadziselimovics adore those children as their own. That’s why Haris and Cristina view themselves as the fun-loving aunt and uncle, and were OK with that role if parenthood wasn’t in their cards.
Several years went by and despite their efforts of turning to science, it yielded to emotional pain and emptiness.
“It’s a lot to go through,” Haris said. “Shots, injections, appointments and seeing (Cristina) be in pain. You get to the point that yes, you want this. But there’s no road map; there’s no answer to why it was working or it wasn’t working. It’s difficult to have one more try and do it all over again.”
As close as two sisters can be, that tight-knit bond is why Cristina confided to her older sister the continuing struggles to expand their family. Cristina got pregnant twice, but miscarried. Rounds of intrauterine insemination (IUI) and in vitro fertilization (IVF) also failed from two separate egg retrievals. When genetic testing of the want-to-be parents showed no flaws, it only added to their frustration and disappointment.
“She was the person I would tell everything to,” said Cristina, an auditor for the state. “It was easier to talk to her about it.”
The fertility train the couple boarded for years, first with Oregon Reproductive Medicine and then the fertility clinic at Oregon Health & Science University’s Center for Women’s Health, had one final stop. Doctors and specialists talked surrogacy, and Haris and Cristina had one person in mind. It’s the same woman who went to great lengths to make sure she’d be a good candidate, despite bouts of high blood pressure in pregnancy and children’s births through Cesarean section.
The same woman who volunteered to be their surrogate one night at the dinner table in what they called a joking manner.
But Green wasn’t kidding.
Her husband, T.J., also was 100 percent on board. After all, their family of six was complete following their youngest son’s birth three years ago.
The storm slowly began clearing.
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Before 2019, it was illegal in Washington state for a surrogate to be compensated. That changed Jan. 1 as part of new protections under the state’s Uniform Parentage Act to address a number of arrangements related to surrogacy.
Even though they were family, both couples hired attorneys to negotiate contracts and underwent psychological evaluations. It took eight months from the time the Hadziselimovics decided to use a surrogate until one of the final embryos left was implanted in Green last April.
A few weeks later, a big surprise.
“We both were crying on the phone,” Cristina said of the call between her and Green.
Nothing but happy tears learning of the confirmed pregnancy on the first attempt. The couple announced their pregnancy publicly in August at 17 weeks pregnant.
The pregnancy didn’t come without complications and scares. First-trimester bleeding required mandatory bedrest for Green in addition to a week-long hospital stay at 23 weeks for placental abruption.
Avyn’s birthday arrived at 8:07 a.m. Dec. 27 at PeaceHealth Southwest Medical Center in Vancouver by scheduled Cesarean section at 37 weeks. Both parents were in the operating room.
“It’s almost surreal,” Haris said.
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After the birth, Green took a week off from coaching. She’s back leading a Chieftains program seeking a repeat trip to state next month at Sammamish High School, the WIAA’s new location for the state meet Feb. 21-23. Last season, the Chieftains earned the team qualification to state out of the District 3A/2A/1A meet in Battle Ground.
Looking back, the admiration, love, and courage Green has for her sister and brother-in-law’s silent struggle is second to none.
“Through that whole journey,” she said, “how easy it would’ve been to reach the emotional cliff. … That shows a lot of strength to be able to continue, even though all you’ve had is failure. And to just keep trying knowing there is even a small chance of success, there is a little chance of success. And we’re going to keep trying for that family.”
In turn, Green says she feels a different connection with her niece, whom she called her belly-buddy. This scenario was perfect for her, too, from an emotional standpoint, she added. With family completed, it was time to give to others.
“I’ve never felt like I’m missing something,” she said. “I don’t feel like it’s a loss. I know this baby has amazing parents and I can see her anytime I want.”
Avyn is now one month old. Her parents describe an easy-going infant whose looks take more after Dad. They find humor in everyday joys of parenting such as early-morning feedings amidst sleepless nights.
Their 8-year storm before parenthood ended, giving way to the pot of gold at the end of the bright rainbow.
“We always made clear we were a unit,” Haris said. “Our family, this was a hope and a wish it’d work out in the end.”
