When I was a child, our family spent two weeks of summer at Rice Lake, Ontario, Canada. Along with about four other families from our neighborhood, we rented cottages without electricity or running water. Each had two tiny bedrooms, a table and four chairs, and a wood stove used for cooking and warmth (what there was of it.) An outhouse was set a tolerable distance from the cottages. After dark, we used lanterns to light the cottages and flashlights to visit neighbors or the outhouse. Water was secured by taking a bucket to a well and using a hand pump.
There was no shortage of animals. Some we preferred to avoid but occasionally encountered. Snakes were not pleasant, but most dreaded were the skunks and porcupines.
During the day, we went swimming and fishing, as well as surfboarding and skiing behind boats. At night, the adults gathered in one cottage to play the card game Euchre and drink beer. The kids hung around outside, sometimes chasing lightning bugs or frogs, or playing together in another cottage. The area was at the end of a long dirt road, so there was no fear of strangers or traffic. The older kids, of which I was one, were in charge of keeping an eye on the younger ones.
I think I was about 12 years old at the time of the following incident. It was after dark and I had to go to the outhouse. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get anyone to go with me to hold the flashlight. The outhouse was built with three holes: large, medium and small. Intending to use the medium-sized hole, I set the flashlight down between it and the larger hole. To my utter horror, the flashlight rolled into the large hole and landed on top of the pile beneath it! What was I to do? I certainly wasn’t going to reach down there and try to get it!
Being scared of the dark and the animals, I made my way back to the cottage of adults and announced my dilemma. Unfortunately, they had drank enough beer to find the situation hysterically funny, and told me they guessed I would have to figure out how to retrieve it!
I was incredulous, but felt my way back to the cottage where my 9-year-old brother, Scott, was playing. I begged Scott to go with me and get it out. I even offered to pay him, but he said, “No way.” And the other kids seemed to think it was pretty funny, just like the adults had.
So I was left to solve the problem on my own. What was I to do? By the way, the flashlight was on, which fortunately made it visible, but unfortunately also made everything beneath and surrounding it visible!
I actually did solve the problem all by myself. I went to our cottage and got another flashlight and the water bucket. Then I went to the well and pumped the bucket full of water. I took the water back to the cottage, put an additional piece of wood into the stove and poured the water into a pot on the stove.
Then I found a hanger in one of the bedrooms. I bent the hanger so that it became a handle with a hook on the end. I took my hanger and a second flashlight and, none too happily, trudged back to the outhouse. I carefully propped up the second flashlight next to the hole.
Holding my hanger by the makeshift handle, I reached down into the hole. After a couple of unsuccessful attempts, I was able to hook the flashlight with the other end.
And, ever so carefully, I raised it up and out of the hole. I carried it that way back to the cottage where my pot of water was now near boiling. I took the pot outside and carefully, again holding the hanger by the handle, poured hot water over the flashlight. I turned it from side to side until both it and the hanger were completely clean (or I should say, they looked clean!). With toilet paper, I wiped them dry. Still not wanting to touch the flashlight, I re-hooked it and carried it into the cottage, putting it on the kitchen counter. I bent the hanger back to shape and hung it up.
I was proud to have solved my problem all by myself, but I didn’t tell the adults. Everyone talked about this for years afterwards, but no one ever seemed to grasp that it wasn’t a funny experience for me.
Recently I visited my brother and extended family. Who would bring up the story of the flashlight and the outhouse but my brother! His memory was identical to mine. Everyone got a good laugh out of it when we told the story together. Even I could see the humor in it at last.
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