Dear Mr. Berko: Since we sold our business and retired 11 years ago, our $768,000 individual retirement account has averaged 8.8 percent, including dividends. I’m proud of this performance because I manage the account. Some years were better than others, but we have been able to take out over $60,000 a year from our IRA without touching the original $728,000 in principal. We hope to leave the principal to our two children. We have Social Security plus another income source, so we are financially comfortable.
The problem is that my wife keeps telling me what to buy and what to sell. I resent her intrusion. She says we could do better if I took some of her advice. She thinks I’m too fixated on “male investments,” such as defense, tech, e-commerce, insurance and construction stocks. We both read your column and respect your advice.
Because I’ve earned a good 8.8 percent for 11 years, I think my wife ought to leave well enough alone and stay away from this money. Should I allow my wife to influence and co-manage our stock selections? We’ll accept your response.
— T.R., Punta Gorda, Fla.
Dear T.R.: No! Never. Absolutely not.
Let me tell you about my experience. For some time, my wife had a bee in her bonnet, demanding that I consider her personal input and that we co-manage our joint account. I argued ineffectively. (I made the mistake of marrying a woman who is smarter than I.) We worked OK together for nearly a year and made joint decisions on buy and sell transactions after perusing numerous research reports and newsletters. But because we’re both stubborn and opinionated people (and there was ego involved), it was becoming increasingly difficult to make investment decisions together and compromise. So in early 2010, realizing that the Force was with her and my resistance was futile, we moved half the value of our joint account to another discount brokerage, which became her half. I would have zero input on her half. She would have unfettered access to portfolio decisions without consulting me. It made for queer dynamics. Because I benefited from that account, I wanted her to do well, yet because my male ego was involved, I didn’t want her to do well so I could say, “See? I told you so.”
