Singletary: Draw up contract for adult kids at home
By Michelle Singletary
Published: June 8, 2018, 6:00am
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That 30-year-old man who had to be forced by a judge to vacate his parents’ home has finally packed his bags and left.
Mark and Christina Rotondo wanted their unemployed adult son to move out. But their son, Michael, refused to go, so the couple filed a petition in the New York State Supreme Court to have him evicted.
Maybe the acrimony could have been avoided had the parents communicated, in writing, what they expected from their son.
Kristy, a reader from Indiana, found a “Welcome Home Contract” online from the National Association of Insurance Commissioners. She and her husband tailored the document to dictate the rules under their roof when their 18-year-old son decided he wasn’t going to college after he graduated from high school.
The covenant between the couple and their son says he has to get a job (he did). There’s also a curfew and quiet hours.
“We added the bit about quiet hours because my husband has to be up early in the morning,” she said.
If you want to avoid a costly court date with your adult child, go to insureuonline.org and search for “Welcome Home Contract.” The first listing will be a fill-in-the-blanks PDF form, and the second is an interactive version of the contract.
I asked Kristy to share the specifics of their contract. I’ve made some edits for clarification.
Effective: [Put the date here.]
This covenant is between X, hereafter known as “adult child,” and Y, hereafter known as “parents.”
This covenant is entered into on the basis that [name of adult child] is not attending college part-time or full-time.
Logistics: Adult child may inhabit his current bedroom, or other room, as designated by parents. Adult child will park vehicle in manner so as not to take up more space than needed in driveway.
Adult child will take necessary precautions to ensure the safety of the residence/residents, such as locking doors at night/upon leaving premises, and keeping security codes confidential.
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Finances: [Put the dollar amount here] is expected monthly for room and board, which covers reasonable living expenses, groceries and utilities.
If still eligible for coverage under parents’ health insurance, adult child will pay for out-of-pocket costs associated with doctors’ appointments, emergency room visits, medication, etc.
If not eligible for coverage under parents’ health insurance, adult child will secure his own health insurance and pay 100 percent of the premiums.
Adult child will pay for his expenses for clothing, toiletries and other personal items.
Mutual respect: Adult child will assist with household chores as requested, and as need arises by parents, as well as snow removal, and some house maintenance.
Adult child will keep his room clean, be responsible for cleaning the bathroom/laundry room he regularly uses and cleaning up after self when using common areas such as the kitchen.
Overnight guests are not allowed unless cleared with parents in advance.
We request that you keep reasonable hours, home before 10 p.m. weeknights and before 11 p.m. Friday and Saturday.
If you have visitors in the common areas of the home — kitchen, great room, living room — we ask that visitors leave before 10 p.m.
Should adult child not return home at night, a text message should be sent to parent by 11 p.m. so as not to cause undo worry or stress, or for adult child to be reported as missing person.
I love the clarity in this covenant. It might not prevent all conflicts, but it certainly puts everyone on the same page.
Use the NAIC co-habitation contract outline expectations in a shared house. It could save you a lot of money and heartache.
