They have survived, and maybe they’re even stronger for it.
Eli Schwartz, 32, and Sean Nance, 33, co-hosts of “All Aboard the Hype Train,” have finished their yearlong challenge to watch “Transformers: The Last Knight” each week and record a podcast after each viewing. Schwartz and Nance don’t like the fifth installment in the Transformers series, and that was exactly the point of this endeavor.
They wanted to watch an awful movie each week, and treat it with a seriousness it doesn’t deserve. And they wanted to podcast about it, so everyone could relish in their misery.
“The Last Knight” is as close to objectively awful as a film can get — it received a 17-percent-fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and a 27 score on Metacritic. Schwartz and Nance said watching the film didn’t get any easier as their task progressed.
“The problem is, it’s just long, and it’s bad, so it’s really hard to get through,” Nance said of the two-and-a-half-hour movie.
To Listen
Listen to the “All Aboard the Hype Train” podcast at stitcher.com/podcast/elijah-schwartz/all-aboard-the-hype-train
‘Bumblebee’ Reviews
Nance and Schwartz each gave five stars to the new “Transformers” movie “Bumblebee.” You can read their quick reviews below, which they texted to The Columbian:
Nance: “10/10 would Bumblebee again.”
Schwartz: “Free from time travel and wizards this grounded, coherent, story is a real tour de force for Beaverton’s own Travis Knight.”
But in mid-December, the pair finally finished their feat, which culminated in a viewing of the sixth Transformers movie, “Bumblebee,” which was directed by Travis Knight, a Beaverton, Ore., native and son of Nike co-founder Phil Knight. They ended up loving “Bumblebee,” which received a positive 66 score on Metacritic.
Schwartz said watching “Last Knight” became like “clocking into a job,” and that the routine helped him through some personal struggles he’s been having.
“For me, it has been weird,” Schwartz said. “The last 90 days personally have been a whole whirlwind for me. There’s been times where just sitting and watching the movie with Sean seems like a return to normal. It’s weirdly comforting to be like, ‘At least I can do this.’ … Having this has really helped us stay close even when times were tough for me, and maybe we would have drifted apart if not because of this.”
Nance agreed that the project brought them closer together, the main reason they started it. Both friends felt like they were drifting apart as they aged, and wanted a set time they could hang out each week.
“In a lot of ways, this project and movie mirrored our relationship,” Nance said. “It’s really long. It’s really hard to get through. Sometimes it’s obnoxious, but at the end of it, I think it’s worth it.”
Schwartz and Nance, who lived in Vancouver at the start of their podcasting and now live in Kelso, would get together each week and grab dinner before snagging snacks and energy drinks from a convenience store. Then they would watch the movie together, taking notes and developing over-the-top theories they would discuss on their podcast.
Nance thinks Mark Wahlberg’s character in the movie is a time traveler, and Schwartz thinks General Morshower, a character in the film, is a vampire “because it is ridiculously outrageous and based on no evidence.”
Schwartz and Nance want to podcast again next year, but they want to do two movies over a shorter period of time, instead of one movie for the whole year. They feel confident one of those movies will be 2015’s “Terminator Genisys,” which received a 38 score on Metacritic. The sixth “Terminator” movie will debut in November.
Regardless of what they decide, they do want to continue the viewings and podcasts, even if you don’t listen — actually, especially if you don’t listen.
“If anything, I think it’s funnier if you do this for an audience of no one,” Schwartz said. “It’s even more pointless.”
