In the 1940s, adoption records in Colorado were automatically sealed. This meant that no matter how much Marian Markley wanted to find her birth mother, there was no informational path she could travel. As time passed, and Markley aged, her determination grew. She turned to her daughter, Val Dewitz, for help.
The two knew this much: Markley’s mother, Lillian Burbach, traveled from Nebraska to Denver to give birth. Burbach’s doctor happened to share a building with Markley’s adoptive father — a dentist. Markley’s adoptive parents were expecting to receive twin daughters, but at the last second, the birth mother changed her mind. A chance encounter between Burbach and the dentist led to Markley’s private adoption.
When the search began, Markley and her daughter Dewitz tried DNA testing. Tests revealed Markley was 48 percent Jewish — a surprising fact — but there was little new information to help find her mother.
Discouraged by a lack of progress, Dewitz paid the Mormon Church a visit at the suggestion of her mother-in-law, because “they are the keeper of records.” The church is known for its extensive records on ancestry.
“My mom is now 77, so if not now, when?” Dewitz asked.
Within two hours, Dewitz had found her grandmother. However, Burbach died in 1994 at the age of 76. Dewitz also found what appeared to be an aunt and an uncle, Paula and John Garb. But she needed more information to make contact with her potential family.
“(My mother) said every time the phone rang, she wondered if it was going to be me with more information,” Dewitz said.
After a successful Google and Facebook search, she reached out to Paula Garb with the knowledge she might be dismissed. When Garb called back the next day, Dewitz was pleasantly surprised.
“I got about five seconds into the story and she said, ‘Yep, that’s us,’ ” Dewitz said. “She knew she had a sister.”
By Aug. 11, Dewitz and Markley were in Laguna Niguel, Calif., meeting Paula Garb for the first time.
“Paula said she considers me not her half-sister or her step-sister but her real sister,” Markley said. “She told me that my mother always talked about me and wondered whatever happened to me.”
Markley quickly became overwhelmed with simultaneous joy and regret as she reflected on their meeting.
“I feel bad,” she said in-between soft, silent tears. “I always remembered my mother and wondered what happened to her too.”
Markley learned her mother was close by until she was 17 years old.
“After my mother had me in Denver, she stayed in Denver,” she said. “So all this time until I was 17, (my mother and her husband) lived in Denver.”
Of course, at that time, adoption records were still closed, meaning Markley couldn’t have found her mother at that time. Meeting Garb has given Markley some closure.
“In a way, I feel like my mother wasn’t really a stranger,” she said.
Some of her questions have been answered. But she still wants to know more.
Markley is sending in her saliva for further ancestry testing and to learn more about her family’s history. She’s also requesting her original birth certificate to find her father’s name.
For now, the mother-daughter duo will cherish their newfound family bonds. This includes a visit from Paula Garb for Dewitz’s birthday Oct. 6.
“We realize there are stories that are completely different than this so we feel really lucky that everyone’s into it,” Dewitz said. “It’s the ultimate gift. There’s nothing tangible about it but it’s so amazing.”
