Dianna Kretzschmar was a child when the abuse began. She was an adult when she started to heal.
Kretzschmar was for years sexually abused by her adoptive father. Now 51 and the executive director of the Parks Foundation of Clark County, Kretzschmar has found strength in sharing her story, and recovery in telling other victims of abuse that they’re not alone.
“It’s a part of this beautiful journey that I’ve been on for 51 years,” she said. “You grow. Your heart grows back.”
On Sunday, she and other Vancouver women joined the millions worldwide who shared their #MeToo stories, a global campaign started when actress Alyssa Milano encouraged survivors of sexual assault and harassment to publicly share their stories. CNN reported Thursday that 1.2 million tweets have been shared using the hashtag, and millions more on Facebook have made similar posts, predominantly by women. Vancouver women who told their stories to The Columbian said sharing their stories has been empowering, and seeing so much evidence that they’re not alone validating.
Resources for assault victims
If you are a victim of sexual assault, there are local and regional support systems available.
• YWCA Clark County’s Sexual Assault Program
24-hour hotline:
360-695-0501 or
1-800-695-0167
• The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network National Sexual Assault Hotline:
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
• The Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs:
wcsap.org
• Cowlitz Indian Tribe Pathways to Healing Program for Native American or Alaska Native individuals: 360-397-8228
“My time as a victim has long passed,” Kretzschmar wrote. “I found my voice. I hope others do too.”
The Clark County YWCA’s Sexual Assault Program provides a 24-hour hotline and support to victims of sexual assault. In fiscal year 2016-2017, the program served 543 people with advocacy, support groups and therapy.
Laurie Schacht, director of the program, called the posts a “painfully stunning” visualization of the pervasiveness of sexual assault and harassment.
“I feel like it’s a courageous and bold statement and movement,” Schacht said.
For those reading posts or hearing loved ones’ stories of sexual assault for the first time, Schacht advised taking “a deep breath” before responding.
“I think when you get some information that’s pretty startling we might jump into ‘fix-it’ mode,” she said.
Instead, Schacht said allies can help by thanking the person for sharing and asking what might be supportive or what services they can connect them with.
“That was a gift that someone trusted you with a vulnerable, scary, embarrassing part of their life,” she said.
Tracie DeMars, a RE/MAX broker who lives in Battle Ground, was raped as a teenager. Her 24-year-old daughter, Kelsey Kirkpatrick, was years later raped at a college party. Both shared #MeToo posts over the weekend.
If you are a victim
The YWCA Sexual Assault Program advises that if you’ve just been assaulted, do the following:
• Go to a safe place immediately.
• Find support, such as through the 24-hour hotline operated by the YWCA.
• Seek medical attention as soon as possible.
• Keep any clothing or personal items involved in the assault.
• If you can, do not bathe, change clothes or change your appearance until evidence has been collected by the police.
DeMars, now 43, said she hopes women will realize how much they share in common with others and find a support network by sharing their own stories.
“Sometimes a virtual hug is better than no hug at all,” DeMars said.
Kirkpatrick hopes sharing their #MeToo stories will help victims find closure and strength after trauma.
“It’s helping women find their voices,” Kirkpatrick said. “You don’t realize how many people have either been sexually assaulted or otherwise sexually demoralized.”
Alexis Klager, 28, was sexually assaulted by a friend’s brother at a sleepover as a teenager, she said. She and her attacker still have mutual friends, however, and she ran into him at a party over the summer.
Klager said the experience re-victimized her all over again. Did people at the party know, she wondered. Would people think the assault wasn’t truly as serious as it was? Would she be taken as a joke?
“Girls all the time have to go back to school, or go back to the workplace, or go back to wherever it might be, where they’re having to act like nothing has happened to maintain either their image or maintain professionalism,” Klager said.
Klager also made a #MeToo post over the weekend, recalling the assault and the party.
“There’s more common ground between us women than we’re actually aware of,” she said. “I was blown away by the things that I was reading and how many women I know in my life have gone through being violated by someone.”
