Dear Mr. Berko: Since getting out of college in 2013, I’ve been working at Wal-Mart in Florida, making $9.40 an hour. My buddy works in an Apple Store, making $31 an hour. His father, who is an executive at Wal-Mart, says Wal-Mart employees will get a $3-an-hour raise by 2018, but I need it now. His father says that in the next five years, all Wal-Mart employees will be unionized and make $15 an hour. Wal-Mart has twice the sales of Apple. Why can’t the company pay me $15 an hour now? Should I work for Apple?
— DS, Shalimar, Fla.
Dear DS: Your questions suggest: 1) You’re not Apple-qualified and 2) you’re lucky to have a job. I recommend that you remain at Wal-Mart (WMT-$71) and improve your working skills.
Last year, Apple’s (AAPL-$96) 110,000 full-time employees produced $233 billion in revenues and earned AAPL $52 billion. That’s a supercalifragilistic 22 percent net profit margin. Therefore, each employee made $481,000 for Apple. But when you consider that there are 20,000 part-timers, you can calculate that each Apple staffer only earned $407,000 for Apple in 2015. And if CEO Timmy Cook had given everyone a $5-an-hour raise (that would have been $10,000 for the year), each employee would have earned $397,000 for Apple. AAPL people are worth what they produce. So are WMT people.
Meanwhile, WMT’s CEO, C. Douglas McMillon, won’t give 2.2 million employees a $3-an-hour raise unless they unionize. A $5-an-hour raise would break the company, while a $3-an-hour raise would crash the stock to below $30 a share. Therefore, I’d ask the various gods in heaven to temporarily subvert the order of the natural laws of the universe, just once, to protect WMT from the stupids and the unions.