Dear Mr. Berko: My young broker (I’m 61) of four years is fairly straight with me and has made some good suggestions for my $185,000 individual retirement account. He knows I won’t buy annuities, load mutual funds or the proprietary junk that he and his firm sell to other suckers. He recently recommended that I buy 150 shares of Tyson Foods. A while ago, our pastor told us Tyson is a Muslim-run company. I can’t find any evidence of this, and I don’t want to annoy our pastor by confronting him. I would ask my broker, but that would make me feel silly. My wife says, “What would Berko do?” So please tell us what to do.
— G.L., Detroit
Dear G.L.: Get another pastor, or stop being such a wuss. Most Muslims are good people, and I think a 150-share purchase of Tyson Foods (TSN-$41.49) as a long-term investment might be a swell addition to your $185,000 IRA.
Approximately 250 of the 1,200 employees at TSN’s poultry processing plant in Shelbyville, Tenn., are of Muslim faith. During the summer of 2008, in the name of political correctness, the Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union, representing the Tyson plant, asked for Eid al-Fitr to be one of the paid holidays, in place of Labor Day. In order to maintain a peaceful settlement, Tyson blinked and agreed. However, this must have caused a ruckus in Shelbyville, because a week later, TSN implored the union to reopen negotiations. It did, and Labor Day was reinstated as a paid holiday. Muslims were given a personal paid day they can take whenever they want. Things are changing out there!
TSN, a $41 billion-revenue company with 124,000 employees, may be the largest processor and marketer of chicken, beef and pork products north of the South Pole. Among TSN’s largest customers are Wal-Mart, our military commissaries, fast-food franchises such as McDonald’s, wholesale clubs and major grocery chains. Most folks don’t know that TSN’s brands include Jimmy Dean, with its great sausage; Ball Park and its extra-juicy hot dogs; Sara Lee, which makes a great cheesecake; Gallo, maker of great salami; and my all-time favorite, Golden Island, whose premium jerky I keep in my office and my car.