I got a million of ’em.
Or, to be slightly more accurate, well over a hundred.
I’m talking about my contest on what exactly should go up on the wall over the head of our three esteemed county councilors.
As you might recall, the M&M boys — Councilors David Madore and Tom Mielke — had a little free time on their hands, so they decided to propose something that — if successful — would divide and irritate many of us living here.
They succeeded.
It had to do with putting “In God We Trust” on the county walls so we all can be reminded: If you can’t trust your politicians … well, you get the idea.
The M&M boys positioned the proposal in black-and-white terms: If you’re for the wall slogan idea, you believe in God. If you’re against it, you’re a heathen.
This was silly talk, of course. Why? Because there are plenty of folks who believe in God who don’t believe you should be putting it up on government walls.
Religion — many believe — is a private thing.
Lunch Buddy
Anyway, when all the yelling and screaming was done, the wall slogan passed 2-1 with Councilor Jeanne Stewart voting against it.
But that slogan thing gave me an idea.
Why the heck should the M&M boys get to decide what goes up on the government walls? Remember, those walls are really the people’s walls. Madore throws that “we the people” line around all the time. So why didn’t he or his sidekick Mielke ask the people what they wanted on the walls?
OK, epic fail on their part. But, because the boys consider me helpful, I thought I’d ask the people for them.
“People, what do you want on the people’s walls?”
I made it a contest, and the winner would get lunch with me.
And mama mia, did you all (the people) respond.
I whittled the pile of entries down to 10 and then — again — let the people decide by putting those 10 finalists on our unscientific Web poll.
And just what did the people decide? Here it is:
We Waste Our Time and Your Money So You Don’t Have To.
Deborah Hargin, a 55-year-old Hazel Dell resident, wrote that gem.
And if you thought the winning entry was good, Deborah’s favorite entry didn’t make my Top 10.
But because I’m open and there is no need to file a freedom of information request to see her favorite, well, here it is.
“Pound Head Against Wall Here —> (pointing to a large steel plate, or several … one for Jeanne Stewart, one for the public, and one reserved for those astute members of the fourth estate)”
o o o
Deborah and I agreed to meet for lunch at Beaches a few days ago so I could get to know her better.
As you might imagine, Deborah is very bright and very witty.
She’s a grad of Columbia River High School and Clark College, and she received a B.S. in zoology from the University of Washington.
Deborah is disabled now, but she has done many things in her life, including working in bookstore management, as a park ranger, as a fundraiser and as a recycling specialist.
She says she keeps up on local politics, even though she can’t afford the Internet, cable TV or The Columbian. She says she’s developed this technique of going to local coffee shops that offer free Internet. And she keeps her eyes open whenever someone leaves their Columbian behind.
“Then I vulture it,” she explains.
Want more Deborah info?
“I am owned by a two-and-a-half pound chihuahua, who also owns the whole rest of the world, too. Just ask her. She (the dog!) is particularly irritated with the M&M boys and thinks the slogan should be ‘More Liver Treats now!’ “
Like many others, Deborah is not a fan of what’s going on in the county.
“If these guys want to have some sort of legacy, just get them bronze busts. When they leave, we could melt them down.”
Any final thoughts?
“It would be a good sitcom if you didn’t live here.”
Oh, my!
