If Pete Carroll only owned a DDSS mug before the Super Bowl.
What a call, what a call
I know, I know, the seemingly endless droning over Seahawks Coach Pete Carroll’s pass call that cost them the Super Bowl is wearing thin.
But this critically important point must now be made:
If Carroll had owned a Don’t Do Stupid Stuff mug ($10 at our front counter, please) the victory parade would not have been in Boston. The world would not have had to gaze at Patriots QB Tom Brady’s perfect smile … again.
Also, we wouldn’t have to hear community superstar Dianna Kretzschmar threatening to “throat punch” anyone who mentions the word “Pats.”
What? You think I’m kidding?
Now, I realize that $10 can’t buy you love, but I’m here to tell you that DDSS mug ownership could have bought us a Super Bowl championship.
Put another way, owning a Don’t Do Stupid Stuff mug can change the course of human history. Now, c’mon, that is worth a sawbuck.
So here’s hoping the coach shows up in our front lobby next week to get himself one. We can avoid all this bad karma in the future.
Plus, if you’ve ever been throat punched … well, you know how important avoiding that is.
Having said all of that, I do admit there has been one good thing to come out of Carroll not owning a mug and making the worst call in the history of mankind.
The infamous Chicago Tribune front page headline declaring “Dewey Defeats Truman” has now been bumped down to the Number Two worst call of all time.
Oh my!
Speak Up!
This morning, while most of you are hanging out in your skivvies, I’ll be hanging with the beautiful people. No, not Brady and his wife. I’m talking about the American Association of Retired Persons.
I do my fair share of speaking and attending events. But this is one of my favorite groups.
Why? Because someday I’ll be one of them. Oh, I’m old enough now (age 50 makes you eligible.) I’m just not ready.
The last time I spoke to this group, I broke out into my rendition of “Born to be Wild.” And they still invited me back.
This time, I think I’ll pull out something a little safer. Something I’ve used before. I’ll talk about why lumberjacks and reporters are a lot alike.
Stay tuned.
Book club
It drifted around the newsroom for some time before a reporter stopped me and said, “I think I might have something of yours.”
He handed me a not-yet-released book written by Randy Wayne White.
The Columbian gets its fair share of books mailed here, so even if it’s addressed to me, it doesn’t mean I always see it.
But Randy and I go way back. We’re about the same age and broke into the newspaper business at about the same time in Fort Myers, Fla.
He went on to become a New York Times best-selling author and lives on Captiva Island, a sweet, sun-drenched spit of exclusive land off southwest Florida.
Me? I went on to sell coffee mugs. So that makes us about even.
I’ve stayed in touch with Randy, and whenever I need my sunshine fix, I find my way to the island where he lives. And I always try to get together with him at one of his Doc Ford restaurants.
I read way too many newspapers and magazines, which leaves little time to break into a book. But I’ve read most all of Randy’s stuff. This one is called “Cuba Straits” and is scheduled for release in late March.
I read great writers — in part — because it helps me as a writer. Of course, I also love to get lost in the images of great storytellers like Randy.
So put it on your calendar and grab a copy in March. If you don’t, I’ll be asking Dianna to pay you a visit.
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