As kids across Clark County prepare to return to the classroom this week, many may be experiencing fear and anxiety about the upcoming changes.
That, local health providers say, is completely normal.
“The most important part of looking at kids’ worries is that it’s a normal adaptive part of development,” said Dr. Cynthia Seitz, lead pediatrician at the Kaiser Permanente Orchards Medical Office.
Those feelings are most often temporary, Seitz said. If they persist, however, that may be a sign of more than just back-to-school jitters, she said.
For most kids, back-to-school concerns revolve around peers and teachers.
“In general, there’s always the question of, ‘Are my friends going to be in my class? Is my teacher going to be nice?’ ” said Caitlin O’Dell, clinical supervisor at the Children’s Center, which provides mental health services to Clark County children and families.
Workload concerns are also common, she said. Because classes get tougher each year, students often wonder what that will mean for them, O’Dell said.
In addition, if a student had social issues or problems with peers in the past, they’ll likely worry about those problems persisting in the new school year, O’Dell said. They may also have concerns about whether their friends moved away or if there will be new kids in school, she said.
Quite a few kids move in the summertime, O’Dell said, and those students may enter school concerned about whether they’ll be able to make friends. Parents can help their children by rehearsing ways to start a conversation with a new peer and brainstorming ideas for how their student can identify someone they might want to get to know, O’Dell said.
“It sounds simple, but I think it really helps kids feel prepared if they have a little bit of a script or an idea,” she said.
Seitz likes to help her patients prepare for situations that make them nervous or anxious by equipping them with coping skills.
“I think the single greatest skill someone can use is positive self-talk,” she said.
A child who is worried about getting lost at school, for example, can remind himself or herself that they practiced the route to the classroom so they won’t get lost, Seitz said. They can also reassure themselves that they know who to ask for help if they do get lost, she said.
For kids who struggle with positive self-talk, Seitz recommends making note cards with those reminders.
Relaxing the body with deep breaths can also help to lower heart rates and reduce anxiety, she said. For older kids, Seitz recommends visualizing a relaxing scene and engaging all of the senses.
Parents’ own anxiety about their kids going to school can also affect children.
“In general, it’s important to remember, particularly younger kids, take their cues for how to feel about things from others,” O’Dell said.
That means parents who are anxious or nervous about their kids starting school may make their children feel like they should be anxious or nervous. And how parents handle that anxiety may affect how kids handle their own feelings, O’Dell said.
O’Dell recommends parents work through those feelings with their kids.
Parents and children can get school supplies and backpacks ready for the first day. They can go to the school early and walk around the campus, to get familiar with the grounds. They can also take advantage of meet-and-greet events where kids can see teachers and other school staff.
For kids going to school for the first time, parents should put on a brave face, Seitz said. They can reassure kids that they’ll be reunited with their parents in four hours — or, using more tangible measurements for kids, “That’s two movies” — or that teachers can call home if they need to, she said.
Students making bigger transitions in school — such as moving from elementary to middle school or middle to high school — may experience more nervousness or fearfulness, O’Dell said. For example, a middle school student may be worried about how much passing time they will have between classes in their new high school. The parent can call the school to find out how long students have between classes to ease those concerns, O’Dell said.
Parents can also reassure their children that their back-to-school nerves are normal, O’Dell said.
“Normalizing that it might feel a little weird or stressful at first, but that the feeling is temporary is helpful for kids,” she said.
If a couple of months have passed since school started and students are still experiencing regular anxiety, O’Dell said it may be a sign of something more than back-to-school nerves.
“The biggest thing is just looking at if there’s major changes to typical habits,” she said.
For example, the child may be withdrawing more or spending less time with friends or on social activities. Or they may not be talking much about school and are more quiet, in general. In addition, students could be experiencing more physical symptoms, such as stomach aches, headaches and trouble sleeping, O’Dell said.
“Those are pretty typical signs of anxiety in kids,” she said.
In those situations, O’Dell recommends parents try to start a conversation with the child about what they’re feeling and what the parent can do to help. If that’s not leading to a clear solution, O’Dell recommends setting up an evaluation or session with a school counselor or another therapist to get a full assessment.
And, O’Dell said it’s important to normalize that process, as well. Let children know it’s OK and normal to ask for help with anxiety or depression, that they’re not weak for needing help, she said.
“Some bumps in the road are expected, and so it’s OK to work through that as a family,” O’Dell said.
