Press Talk: Let’s get ready to rumble!

Looks like the M&M boys will be turning into the M vs. M boys.

At least for an upcoming election.

A delicious battle is brewing to see which one of these two characters could end up bossing the other one around. That’s because the county chair (think of it as the mayor of a city) is up for grabs.

The M&M boys, of course, are our lovable Republican County Councilors David Madore and Tom Mielke. They’ve pretty much been able to spend most of their time doing stupid stuff the last couple of years.

And largely because of their stupid stuff, we have a new form of county government. That new government — among other things — will add two seats to the three-member board. And one of those two new seats will be the county chair.

Mielke (God bless the bulbs that have dimmed) wants the chairman’s seat because it will pay more than his regular county council seat. Plus, he is irritated beyond belief at how slowly Madore runs meetings. Mielke is a clock-watcher, counting down the minutes to his lunch break.

Madore (God bless the self-centered) is — shall we say — just a bit of a control freak. Remember, he made millions creating a gadget company, and he didn’t accomplish that by letting someone else run the show.

There is a third candidate in the race. None other than former County Commissioner Marc Boldt. (Remember that famous line “Two nuts and a Boldt?” That’s him.)

It was Boldt who lost to Madore two years ago. That put the M&M boys in charge, and that is what began our long, slow slog to Stupidville. I like Boldt a lot, but we can talk more about him at another time.

So why — no, really, why — would either of these guys think they can win a countywide race for council chair? Apparently, they didn’t get the memo the new county government was voted in because of all of the stupid stuff they have been doing.

Remember, it was the M&M boys who slipped in their crony Republican state Sen. Don Benton to the county’s environmental services director job. Benton couldn’t tell the difference between flora, fauna or fettuccine. But that didn’t stop them from putting him in a $100,000-plus-a-year job. As my grandpa used to say, “You can’t wipe the stink off a skunk.” (I’m not exactly sure what he meant by that, but I love grandpa sayings!)

Then there was that “In God We Trust” thing on the county walls. The M&M boys didn’t have anything better to do other than to cause dissension, so after Mielke was cold-called by some outfit in California, they pushed through a decision to display it. The issue never had anything to do with believing or not believing in God. It had to do with publicly displaying a religious belief rather than having it remain a personal view.

But Madore (remember, control freak) wanted to display his power, and Mielke (remember, bulb dimming) only understands when the lunch bell rings. So it passed after hours and hours of debate. As my grandpa used to say, “Dey’s, uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp Creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.”

I told you, I like grandpa sayings!

Of course, it’s not set in stone these two guys will run for chair. Madore could do some expensive polling, which could show him hopelessly behind. And Mielke could be out to lunch and just miss the dang deadline to file.

But for now, I be liking this battle.

So let’s … get … ready … to … rumble!!