When I first sought appointment to the Board in 2004, it was to use my education, skills, and background to creatively solve complex problems and give back to the place that’s given me so much. It wasn’t easy, and there were many who wanted me to be more confrontational, but it was good work. On diverse Boards, we struggled and fought through tough issues in tough times, making decisions based on reason, input from our citizens and staff, and ultimately seeking to serve the best interests of the County.
Even last year, I continued that work, seeking to provide information and ideas, listening to input from others, and crafting solutions. It became clear to me by mid-year, however, that my work – and that of many amazing professional County managers who have since left, countless citizens, and even Republican County Electeds like Sheriff Lucas, Assessor Van Nortwick, and Auditor Kimsey – was not going to be considered. There is no longer room for facts, figures, input, and information, if they don’t support the ideological aims of the majority. So my job changed.
I realized that the most important work I could do is shine a bright light on the decisions being made by the Board. To point out inconsistencies in logic, and correct false facts when they were offered. Why is that so important? Because I’m the only one who can do it. Staff are concerned about their jobs or simply give up on continuously correcting Commissioners, and constituents don’t know all that is going on behind the scenes or have experience enough to know if facts are facts. I provide a window into what’s happening, and an opposing view to those presented by others on the Board. Then it’s up to all of you to figure out who to believe and whether our decisions are good ones.
But the job that’s necessary isn’t the one I signed up for, and it’s not one I want to re-apply for. It’s not who I am and not who I want to be. I was raised to be solution oriented, positive, to bring people together. The negativity I now have to live has taken a toll on me, affecting my attitude, work, passion and patience. I promised when I took this job that when I didn’t wake up every morning with energy and passion to serve, that I’d step down. The job is too important and you deserve more than just somebody sitting in the seat for a paycheck or pension. So it’s time, after 10 years, for me to look for another path where I can accomplish positive goals to create healthy communities.