SAN DIEGO — It’s come to this. Almost every night, the same fight about my significant other’s persistent smartphone use.
Of course, plenty of millennial couples, likely many Gen-X pairs, too, know this spat all too well. One innocently ignores the other because the person’s head is utterly consumed by the 5- or 6-inch screen in front of his or her face. For some, the only thing that keeps this I-can’t-believe-you’re-glued-to-your-phone-right-now battle from turning into a war is that both parties are often guilty as charged.
In fact, in a 2015 Harris Poll, more Americans said they could live without caffeine than said they could live without their mobile phones. Millennials, in particular, just can’t seem to help themselves. One in three hates how much time they spend on their smartphones, according to a 2016 Coupofy survey on smartphone user behavior. Yet 85 percent admit to carting their phones to the bathroom.
What’s more, these always-connected tendencies have trickled down to our kids. Fully 40 percent of Gen Z (13- to 18-year-olds) self-identified as digital device addicts in a recent study conducted by market research firm CivicScience.
So, the question is, how much phone time is too much?
“I think each person has to create that line for themselves,” said Tayana Panova, a researcher who has studied the mental health outcomes associated with phone and internet use.
Technically speaking, your phone time crosses over into the dysfunctional realm when you prioritize the device over activities (especially social ones); get emotionally attached to the inanimate object; or seek comfort from it. In her research for the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, Panova found a direct link — or a “strong negative association” — between mobile phone use or internet use for coping during emotionally taxing situations and mental health.
In other words, it’s not healthy to use your phone as an avoidance strategy. On the other hand, what about turning to your smartphone to fight off boredom? That’s relatively harmless. According to Panova’s research, there is no correlation between this type of behavior and mental health.
Setting limits
Quality of life is a separate matter altogether.
“My wife and I made an agreement that the phone doesn’t come into the bedroom,” said Stephen Moye, who lives with his wife and 17-year-old son in the San Diego area.
Instead, he’s allowed to keep an Amazon tablet by the bed to satiate his nighttime and early-morning internet cravings, though the device is not configured to fetch his email. To the vexation of his wife, who is a light sleeper, Moye used to respond to work emails at all hours. He works in the mortgage business and feels compelled to check the bond market regularly and stay on top of client communication.
With the phone in another room at night and a new job that came with more forgiving expectations, Moye believes he’s improving when it comes to moderating his smartphone usage.
“Have I always balanced it? No,” he said. “But I’m getting better.”
His son, however, is on his phone all the time and it’s become problematic. The teenager is relatively typical for his age in that he uses the phone to Snapchat, Instagram, Kik and participate in other modes of communication. But the boy has occasionally been forced to delete social media posts that were in poor taste, and there’s been several family discussions on the topic of excessive phone use.
Developmental impact
Is there a double standard in place?
“I can at least justify my behavior, because a lot of it is business related,” Moye said.
But, with iGen, there is also cause for concern that phone time is affecting development.
“We’re still trying to figure out the impact (of phone use) on the brain at this age,” said Dr. Jean Twenge, author of “Generation Me,” and a San Diego State psychology researcher studying how smartphones are impacting various aspects of our lives. “We know from other areas of research, that the brain is more malleable during childhood and adolescence.”
There is a generational argument to be made in defense of our phone-preoccupied society. It goes something like this: The phone is the new TV set.
But even my significant other, who argues this very point whenever our phone-time disagreement resurfaces, recognizes the holes in this line of thinking. Unlike the TV, the phone can get off the couch with you and creep into other areas where it becomes harder to separate mindless distraction from social interaction.
We’re now vegging out in very public places.
Maybe, then, excessive use is normal by our society’s quickly evolving standards on phone time.
“Normal (phone) use … is so high now that I think it is potentially unhealthy,” Twenge said.
Healthy or not, we seem to be in denial about the affects of our screen time. Case in point: Some 67 percent of millennials believe technology positively affects their relationships and enhances their social lives, according to the aforementioned Harris Poll. Yet, 46 percent of millennials also say their friends and family think they use technology too much.
