Good morning, class. I’m Professor Brancaccio. I want to first say thank you for signing up for this quite unusual class:
How to Get Rich Without Knowing Much of Anything.
Yes, Noodles, thoughts?
Well, unless you’re a celebrity or a criminal, it’s pretty difficult in a democratic society to make it without knowing much of anything. Without any skill set.
Cooper, comment?
I happen to agree with Noodles, but I think there is one other area. Politics.
Politics? That’s a provocative comment, Cooper. Could you expand on that a little?
Well, I just read a very comprehensive story in The Columbian about this state Sen. Don Benton character. He appears to have no real skill set. It’s been said he’s a bully and not well-liked even by some members of his own party.
Yet the guy owns, like, eight houses, he’s probably worth more than a million bucks and he has two government jobs.
OK, OK, as long as you’ve brought up Sen. Benton, let’s continue this line of discussion. Jake, thoughts?
Well, from my perspective, very few people with any marketable skill set get into politics. I mean, who wants the press snooping around looking at everything you’re doing? But a guy like Benton figured out early on it was his only chance to get rich.
So how, exactly, did he get rich? Danni?
Well, Benton somehow became an instant expert on how to win elections, and created this marketing firm to tell people how. He even created some cheesy videos where a pretend newscaster asked him set-up questions.
Plus — and this part is ingenious — when people contributed to his campaign, he used his own marketing company in his election. So he paid his company to market him!
What else? Fernando?
I read where, as senator, he took advantage of every perk there is up in Olympia. Had lobbyists buy him meals, had the taxpayers pay for his dry cleaning, I mean, this guy is some piece of work.
Well, let’s be fair. Lots of politicians — both Democrats and Republicans — take advantage of taxpayers. They all like squeezing us as much as they can.
Hannah, you have something?
But wasn’t the coup de grâce when County Commissioners David Madore and Tom Mielke hired him as an unqualified environmental expert for the county?
Good point, Hannah, although there are those who insist he can do that job mainly because he has great people skills.
Noodles?
Yeah I know a couple of guys at Burger King slinging burgers with people skills.
OK, class, let’s review. Benton appears to not have much of a skill set in anything. Despite what a few backers say, he doesn’t get along well with people, he has little management experience, and his light bulb doesn’t appear to be getting all the juice that’s needed.
Yet he owns eight houses, has more than a million bucks, is holding down two government jobs, will be getting sweet governmental pensions that taxpayers will be paying for, and has some sort of marketing business.
What’s up with all of that?
Yes, Jimmy, let’s try to wrap this up.
Professor Brancaccio, as I’m listening to everything that is being said here, I’m trying to figure out what the real problem is.
Couldn’t someone argue that here in this country, Benton is an example of living the American dream?
I mean, here’s a guy that could just as easily be cleaning toilets. But with a large boost from Madore and Mielke — the M&M boys — he’s making it. Sure, the taxpayers have to pay for most everything he has, but this guy has worked the system to perfection! How do I sign up?
Jimmy, ring the bell! Class dismissed.
Lou Brancaccio is The Columbian’s editor. Reach him at 360-735-4505, http://twitter.com/lounews or lou.brancaccio@columbian.com.
